Nick Lowe / Labour of Lust (1979)

No doubt in future people will look back upon the crudeness of this review with some level of disgust. That being said one has to start somewhere. I have decided to start in that momentous year for music that was 1979, some would argue (myself included) not as momentous as the year preceding it but that is something for review in a much later article. The album I have chosen to review is Nick Lowe’s Labour of Lust, the injustice for an album of this calibre is that (Lowe being a English artist) the only song to be released as a single on our side of the Atlantic Ocean, and this song ended up being the only major US hit Lowe ever had. I will be reviewing the American release, as it is the one I own (for those of you interested the English version has a slightly different track arrangement, as well it contains the song Endless Grey Ribbon in the place of American Squirm). The album plays like a good classic record, part of this can be attributed to the fact that it receives little to no radio play in North American and that keeps the songs from being overplayed to the point of utter ruin. Overall the songs are in the general rating of 4/5 but several numbers are 5/5 with the exception of Switchboard Susan which contains a beat so cool and lyrics so neat that it is elevated to the level of 6/5. Lowe has managed to balance good rocking melodies with a few slower songs You Make Me. This results in the album having a much nicer feel from back to front and doesn’t result in the listener getting an overdose of rock (Yes it can happen, i.e REM’s Accelerate for one). A good, classic and solid album, worth the purchase if you see it and it will more than likely be under ten dollars.

Rating = Saturn Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Rating System III

Designed to measure the cheesy-ness of a band as a whole, measured in Milk fat/Butterfat. This scale will be provided in more detail in the future.

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Rating System II

This Rating System is designed specifically to rate each album on its own individual merit, not counting quality or decency of the band as a whole. Some bands/artist may rate very low on the first system but have single albums that rate very highly in this system. The reason being that some bands have a single stellar album but that single album doesn’t reflect the quality of the band as a whole. The system below has be developed in relation to the planets of the solar system in order of their mass. This also includes the sun. For the purpose of this list, Pluto will represent the lowest class, i.e. Dwarf Planet.

Sun: if you happened to be a person of faith or religious in the slightest, then albums in this category will be the only proof you need as to the existence of god. Every song resonates with the listener in ways that few others could hope to achieve. Every listen brings new heartfelt emotion and new understanding to each individual word making up the collective fabric that is the beauty of the music. Little else of the mortal variety can compare to albums in this category.
Continued exposure will lead you to the understanding that both the work of mortals and immortals was required to produce these albums.

Jupiter: a record in this class provides something above all others; a sense of superiority is never stated only felt through the reverberation of the sound. The quality of the album is such that it plays back to front and front to back in a nearly seamless fashion. There is little ordinary anywhere on the record, and if there is it is made up for by the fact that the other songs make up for it in spades.

Saturn: albums in this class offer renewed insight with each play, though the insight may not be particularly deep or everlasting it does show the potential to be something more. More over the album will offer quality over quantity and will repay the listener with feelings of joy and happiness for their investment. Excellent songs should flood over from the first side to the second, though a few mediocre songs is unfortunate it is forgivable. Owners of albums in this category should be congratulated for their sense of taste.

Neptune: the sense of quality and care was obviously present in albums in this category, though not in particularly large quantities. Repeated listening is repaid with a sense of some cool, good vibes. Though the record itself when played front to back may have dramatic highs and lows, indicating it is closer to a full revolution of the economic cycle rather than one that presents only growth. To be here the album should have at least a side of good songs.

Uranus: if you happen to find out a close friend owns a record in this category then you should take it upon yourself to re-educate them as to the finer points of music, they are not lost yet but if they continue down this path they may end up in a particularly bad spot.

Earth: if you happened to find out that a close friend of yours owns one or more albums in this category you may wish to re-evaluate your friendship, and unless immediate intervention is enacted then they may be lost to the mortal confines of hell in the foreseeable future.

Venus: albums in this category are ones that you never want to admit (to another living soul or creature of the universe) that you actually spend any of your money, time, patience or grace in acquiring them. You should be ashamed.

Mars: albums in this category are ones that you never want to admit (to another living soul or creature of the universe) that you actually spend any of your money, time, patience or grace in listening to them. You should be publicly humiliated.

Mercury: Continued exposure may lead to hemorrhaging, if you feel pain, consult a doctor immediately, if you feel nothing consult a mortician, though there’s no great hurry.

Pluto: Blasphemy at its most prevalent, perhaps the sheer existence of records in this category proves that the devil is never going to give up his quest to lure every last one of us on this earth down to the pits and dungeons of hell.

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Rating System I

(Designed to rate the band/artist as a whole unit, and their albums as a whole unit. There is another system of rating to follow which will deal with rating each album specifically)

Level 0 (No Description): The band in question bares an annoyance on a level only seen by few creatures in the history of the universe. A band whose playing brings up the though in your mind similar to that of the “Oh %@^&” that came to the mind of the dinosaurs when they saw that fated inferno of a meteor falling to earth. By listing to music by any bands/artists slated in this category your fate will be the same as that of the dinosaurs. Not only will you have subjected yourself to unimaginable pain in life you will also have to endure unimaginable pain in death

Example: The Jonas Brothers

Level 1 (Never): The Band in question is intolerable on all levels; no listening of any variety should be undertaken under any circumstances with a band slated in this category. The fact they even existed is of pure amazement to all facets of life as we know it.

Examples: Mötley Crüe

Level 2 (Almost Never): The band/artist in question provides nothing to fill the listener with a sense of “I want to listen to this” rather it is something that people around you like and for the life of you can’t figure out why. A band when your friend says “I love this band, you have to hear them” and then asks “What did you think?” and your response has to be compiled somewhat hesitantly with the flat out lie “It was okay”. It is important to know who these bands/artists were but never to listen to their material.

Examples: Janis Joplin

Level 3 (Song): Amongst everything else bands/artists in this level provide a single song which in and of itself is go enough to warrant a second listen. Something which in spite of all the other Level 1 & 2 music out there fills you with a sense of maybe, just maybe the human race isn’t doomed after all. However no other songs ever come close to producing the quality, build and interest that is that single song.

Example: AFI: Miss Murder or Deathcab for Cutie: Soul Meets Body

Level 4 (Radio): A band/artist that offers nothing in the way of interest that will endear you to the decision to move it to one of the upper levels, but they do happen to provide a sound which you find tolerable and amongst the other filth littering the airwaves of new music you find yourself saying “Come on lets here some ____________”. Great example would be Nickleback. But god help you if you ever manage to find yourself owning one of their albums.

Example: Nickelback or The Foo Fighters

Level 5A (Greatest Hits): A band that finds itself in this category is one who instilled itself in the minds of the population with only their hits and everyone remains blissfully unaware of the other tracks which may have lurked on any of their albums, bands that no one knows the names of their albums.

Example:Trooper: Hot Shots or Def Leppard: Rock of Ages

Level 5B (Live): In many way this sub category of Level 5 plays out like the statement of above only it differs in that it is exclusive to live albums only. Live albums are often like a greatest hits and that is why they fall here.

Example: Peter Frampton: Frampton Comes Alive

Level 6 (Hits+1): A band in which you find so many of their greatest songs on a single album that it plays almost like a greatest hits. This leads you then to the inevitable purchase of said album and after listening to it several dozen times you realize that there are a few other songs by this band that you would like to own. This category also includes bands where ownership of a single record from their repertoire is warranted, but that single record plays like a greatest hits, however they have no other songs worthy of ownership.

Example: Boston: Boston + a Greatest Hits of Some Sort or Van Halen: Van Halen + a Greatest Hits of Some Sort

Level 7 (Hits+2): A band whose description plays out similarly to the one stated in the article previous only instead of having one good album to couple with a greatest hits they have two.

Example: Rush: 2112, Moving Pictures + a Greatest Hits of some sort

(Although by some accounts Rush could move to the category below in some may suggest it prudent two own Farewell to Kings as well)

Level 8 (Albums 1): A band in this category has to have demonstrated their worth to the listener, surpassing the need to merely own 2 of their studio albums and a greatest hits. A band here is a band whose effort to make lasting and meaningful music means you should own 3-4 of their studio albums. It should be noted that bands in both Level 8 and Level 9 do not need you to own greatest hits, though sometimes a GH album wouldn’t go amiss.

Example: AC/DC: All albums between 1977 and 1980 (Leading to 4 albums: Let There Be Rock, Powerage, Highway to Hell, Back in Black)

Level 9 (Albums 2): A band whose worth and value as an addition to your collection should never be understated. A band in this category brings pleasure to your ears with a serious of different albums all holding their own weight in the mind of the listener. For a band to be in this category it needs to be worth your while to own all of their albums between a certain year and another certain year. You have to own at least 5+ of their studio albums.

Example: Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Dire Straits, Eric Clapton

(Too many albums to list, that is why there are none listed for the artists above)

Level 10 (Sets): For a band to have reached this level suggests that there is something about there work which is timeless, never ages and continues to have a profound impact on the music and generations of today. In many cases the artists listed in this category may have been helped along by aliens or some such other creatures to perfect music to a degree that warrants an ownership of all of their studio albums.

Example: Led Zeppelin or The Beatles

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

A System of Rating Music

The system to follow, as described briefly in the introduction posted earlier is designed to help those new to music, or the world of real classic music (not to be confused with Classical Music) in their search for albums which will provide quality enjoyment and value for money, in other words music that will wear out the proverbial grooves in modern Laser Vinyl (Or Compact Discs).

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Introduction

Given the apparent lack of appreciation and respect for old music in this lifeless void that I like to call Modern Times, (Not a reference to the 2006 Dylan album) I have decided to take upon the great burden that is teaching the youth of today that there is more to music then Lady Gaga, Katie Perry, Kanye West and Nickleback. This void I am referring to formed some near twenty years ago, around about that time when the greatest produce the world or “real” Rock & Roll could provide were the bands that ended up sowing the seeds for the grunge revolution (Guns N’ Roses and Mötley Crüe coming from the harder, mundane, more desolate sounding rock, and Def Leppard and Bon Jovi coming from the cheesier, solid rock perfected a decade earlier). These bands of course became so overblown and showboaty that the world of music underwent a revolution on the scale of the French one seen in 1789. And leaving people like me with no place of refuge to wait until the storm of unintelligible lyrics and unrefined guitar noises finally passed some ten years later, a storm which still continues to have a profound impact on the world of music today. That being said I will do my best to educate the children of today with reviews of a wide range of albums in order to help the some 10% of the youth who still buy records legally from a store in their quest for good, memorable, solid and original music. A rating system on decency of an album will be provided in a future post, as I will review both albums of significant merit as well as those which provide music of a less then savory nature. More to follow.

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald