Tears for Fears / The Hurting (1983)

Another reason why 1983 is a great year for music, and thus continuing my theory on the cycle of music producing a great year ever five years (1973, 1978, 1983) but that is another story. Notable for the inclusion of “Mad World” which thanks to Donnie Darko has made a resurgence into the world of modern music. Though “Pale Shelter” and “Watch Me Bleed” are of equal calibre if not even better than the former, there are a number of other songs in there as well and the album itself plays quite solidly from front to back. By the way anyone (and I do mean anyone, cyborgs included) who thinks that Gary Jules does a better version of the song then Roland Orzabal needs to have their head examined (though to think that you couldn’t be a cyborg as they have thought processes based on logic and reason don’t they?)

Rating = Saturn Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

AC/DC / Powerage (1978)

Another shining example of why 1978 remains one of the greatest years for rock music of all time. The album is without question the bands finest, the grooves are amazing, the vocals are spot on and the lyrics are just cool. Again with the airplay thing, but since none of the songs from the record never got a lot of it (I have yet to determine why) it is that much better. That of course coupled with the fact that the album was already unbelievable you get one that is monumental. When you sit down and listen to an album and never once consider pressing the skip/next song button then you know it is perfect. All the songs are great, and rather than simple go on about them all I will save time and effort and say “just go buy the record, then you will see what I mean”.

Rating = Sun Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

AC/DC / Back in Black (1980)

Perfect example of how AC/DC’s lyrics really are all about sex, but that aside the album is great. Testament and proof for the idea that the band did not drop the ball as soon as they lost Bon Scott. Indeed they came back hard hitting as ever to give a good dose of rock from down under and just plainly kick ass. With the opening groove laid down by Angus in “Hells Bells” you knew it was going to be good. A more fitting replacement for old Scotty could not have been found then Brian Johnson. His voice rocks, and to those who simply “listen” to music you would be hard pressed to tell the difference between him and his predecessor. Weak tracks exist (Givin’ the dog a bone, Shake a leg) but they are overshadowed by the ones (which despite their overplay on the radio: “Back in Black”, “You Shook Me All Night A Long” and “Shoot to Thrill”) are still unbelievable. That and the album has “Let me put my love into you” which for any number of reasons is still excellent and never gets old. Normally I do not agree with a band continuing when it has lost a crucial member, but in this case I think the result was a perfect tribute to Bon, though they could have stopped after this one.

Rating = Jupiter Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Aerosmith / Get Your Wings (1974)

A little shorter than is usually preferred but to be honest leaving the listener wanting more is better than the listener wanting you to shut up. This album is a perfect example of how the best songs by many artists are the ones that never received heavy airplay. “Lord of the Thighs” and “Spaced” are two of the best Aerosmith songs of all time, again because they were not senselessly overplayed but also because they possess the qualities necessary to be timeless and they are that. The only downside is that the radio has ruined “Same old song and dance” and with the advent of Cock Band it seems that “Train Kept A-Rollin” is getting its fair share of in your face time as well.

Rating = Jupiter Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Mark Knopfler / Shangri-La (2004)

Even the best of artists have their off albums, and considering his off album is better than the best albums of most other artists we should be grateful. Still better than most other music released in 2004.

Rating = Saturn Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

ZZ Top / Afterburner (1985)

Such subtle lyrics of sexual imagery have not be attempted since the days of Zeppelin (The Lemon Song and Whole Lotta Love to name but a few) and still “Woke up with Wood” was enough to gain a laugh from the mid-teenager still lurking inside me. Worth purchasing if it comes bundled with another record and the cost is 15-20 dollars.

Rating = Neptune Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Radiohead / The Bends (1995)

Someone ought to tell Thom Yorke that such winy, nasally vocals are reserved solely for Mr. Willie Nelson, find a different sound if you please. Indeed halfway through I was unsure if Yorke was still singing or the band had convinced Bono to sing on another piece of garbage besides his own. Notable for little other than "High and Dry" and "Fake Plastic Trees", yes the guitar is good and interesting, but that alone does not make a band. Perhaps the album could have been shortened and turned into an EP, but if you did that then there really wouldn't have been a point to releasing anything at all. What a wonderful thought.

Rating = Earth Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Soundgarden / Superunknown (1994)

Arguably the best grunge band (not including The Smashing Pumpkins) with arguably the best grunge album (not including Dawn to Dusk, Twilight to Starlight) and as such it is subject to a little praise.

Rating = Neptune Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Lady Gaga / The Fame Monster (2009)

When I said that there was no way Lady Gaga could provide the world with anymore talentless, shallow and utterly soulless music I didn’t factor in the possibility she would cook up an album comprised of all the outtakes from the previous one. I was wrong.

Rating = Mercury Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Lady Gaga / The Fame (2008)

As Ms. Spears fades into the sunset it is little wonder that the world found another fairly talentless wonder to take her place. Similar to the way The Stone Roses faded out in 1994 as Oasis came in and stole their thunder with Definitely Maybe. Since no one writes their own lyrics anymore I won’t even bother with berating her for that and instead simply criticise the music. Shallow attempt at something deeper, though who knows what that might be, miring listeners in words which sacrifice any real depth or substance for mainstream pop, party, dance music. I hope that there is no way that Lady Gaga could provide the world with anymore talentless, shallow and utterly soulless music. Still I suppose anything sounds good when it’s two in the morning and you’ve downed almost a dozen drinks.

Rating = Mars Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

The Beatles / Let It Be (1970)

How could an album recorded before Abbey Road be so much worse? I doubt anyone could answer that question properly. Few records by great bands will ever reach the depth of disparity and flat out awful music that is present on this record, the only thing saving it from being a Venus record is the songs “Let it Be” and “Get Back” but even songs that good cannot save a record this bad. To clarify to all those who saw the 2007 film Across the Universe, “Across the Universe” is not the best Beatles song of all time.

Rating = Earth Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Bad Company / Bad Company (1974)

Perhaps the very best example of the perfect up/down record (Song 1 = good, Song 2 = mediocre, Song 3 = good, Song 4 = mediocre, Song 5 = good, Song 6 = mediocre, Song 7 good and Song 8 = mediocre). It has a side of great material, but the fact that Paul Rogers toured with Queen for five years has left a sour taste in everyone’s mouth when they think about Bad Company (and Queen for that matter).

Rating = Neptune Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Bruce Springsteen / Nebraska (1982)

If Johnny Cash had a reason to cover “Johnny 99” and “Highway Patrolman” then it must be good.

Rating = Jupiter Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Deep Purple / Machine Head (1972)

If for nothing else the album holds a place in the pages of history for having a song open not with a guitar solo, not with a drum solo, but with an organ solo. It also has the song with the simplest and most recognizable opening in rock history. Add to that the fact that the other five songs are all five star tracks, everyone a sheer musical masterpiece. A quintessential rock album, beyond the reaches of achievement for any new band post 2000, if you don’t own it, well....

Rating = Sun Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

1st Amendment to The 3rd Rating System

Cheesyness Quotient (in ACU) of Bands

The Cheesyness Quotient (or CQ) of a Band/Artist is determined by two factors:
1) The Band/Artist’s percentage, on a scale from 0.1 to 99.9 of Butterfat, the higher the butterfat (which is the independent variable) the greater the cheesyness of the band/artist will be (given in percent butterfat approximate or %Ba).
2) The other factor is their cheesyness, which is measured in Cheesyness Units (or cu) which is measured on a scale from 0 to infinity,
As the butterfat of a band/artist approaches 100% (though it will never reach it) the CU of the band/artist will approach infinity. Alternately, as the butterfat of a band/artist approaches 0.00% (though it will never reach it) the CU approaches negative infinity.

These two numbers are then multiplied together in order to get the bands overall cheesyness, which is given in Average Cheesyness Units or acu’s

Example 1:

Def Leppard:
Measures 49%Ba (Heavy Cream) on the Butterfat Scale,
Measures 30 CU (on the Cheesyness Scale)

Therefore 49%Ba X 30 CU = 1470acu

Example 2:

Led Zeppelin:
Measures 0.4%Ba (Skim Milk) on the Butterfat Scale
Measures 1.5 CU (on the Cheesyness Scale)

Therefore 0.4%Ba X 1.5 CU = 1acu*

Example 3:

Boston:
Measures 33.5%Ba (Whipping Cream) on the Butterfat Scale
Measures 20.5 CU (on the Cheesyness Scale)

Therefore 33.5%Ba X 20.5 CU = 686.75acu**/***

*Note 1: Any bands that score below 1acu have their number rounded up for ease of
measurement and recording (Led Zeppelin actually scores a 0.6acu level)

**Note 2: Boston is often cited as the definitive threshold band, largely due to the fact that they are constantly and consistently straddling the acu threshold.

***Note 3: 33 1/3%Ba which correlates to a 20 CU rating which then results in a 666.66acu (repeating of course) measurement. Make no mistake, this is no coincidence. Some analysts cite this as the definitive dividing line between Rock and Cheese, though the majority will suggest that 633.33-700.00acu is the general regarded transition zone between the two, as when bands/artists approach this line their music tends to drift between Rock and Cheese quite frequently. This zone was created by the addition and subtraction of the Absolute Cheese Threshold in butterfat (33.33%) (ACTBa) from the Absolute Cheese Threshold in Average Cheesyness Units (ACTacu) 666.66acu +/- 33.33

A Graph of this Relationship is in my possession, at some point in the near future I plan to post it here.

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

1st Amendment to the “Terms” Section

These are some new terms which may appear periodically throughout this blog and as such I feel the reviews would make more sense if you knew what they meant.

Solid Album Rule: If an artist/band adhere to the rule that if you make an album with 9-11 songs (10 preferably) and keep it to a length of 40-45 minutes (the restriction that the vinyl record had over artists once) any shorter and is simply not worth the listeners time, as just when they get into the groove of things the record ends. Any longer and ear fatigue sets in. If this rule is adhered to then the listener rarely gets bored and the album maintains a level of interest for many years and listens to come.

Ear Fatigue: The process by which the listener gets bored or tired of music, usually most prevalent in albums that are too long or do not have sufficient rises and falls in tone, pitch and volume to keep the listener interested (this is best shown in modern remastered versions of old albums which have had the dramatic peaks and valleys ironed out in order to ensure that people listening with cheap earbuds or headphones can listen to music longer)

Third Album Rule: An artist/band may be able to pull off a great first record, and they may have enough material from recording session of the first one to piece together the second record. But the third record will more than likely have to be of new material, and as such this will test whether or not the band/artist has the potential to live on forever or fade like the sun at dusk. Lightning may strike once, maybe even twice but rarely a third for those who are not deserving of it.

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Bruce Springsteen / Darkness on the Edge of Town (1978)

Part of the reason that 1978 was such a great year in music, unfortunately “Badlands” has been ruined by heavy airplay, but that aside the record is simply a work of art, and the solo on “Candy’s Room” is excellent. The album is follows the Solid Album Rule and plays front to back very well without the listener ever getting bored. Mr. Springsteen’s lyrical and composing talent begins to blossom on this record, and as such it should be in ever good classic rock fan’s collection.

Rating = Jupiter Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Boston / Boston (1976)

Registering with a Cheesyness Quotient of 686.75acu, the band is right in the threshold that divides Rock from Cheese (the divide is around 633.33-700.00acu) but we’ll let that slide for now. Thanks to Guitar Hero and Rock Band the youth of today has suddenly become acquainted with Boston (though I doubt if any of them know of the album). Epic first side, no questioning that (“More Than a Feeling”, Peace of Mind” and “Foreplay/Long Time”) would be enough to secure any band post 2000 in the halls of rock stardom. Personally I much prefer “Something About You” but that is a different matter. The point here is that despite these great (and I do mean great) songs there is a reason that they are the only ones you ever hear, a quick listen of some of the other songs on Side 2 (“Smokin”, “Hitch a Ride” and “Let Me Take You Home Tonight”) reveals something that many of us fear coming to terms with, the 1980’s era of sweet cheesyness was not confined to the period of 1980-1990, in many places it came early and was no less potent for that earliness.
Rating = Saturn Record
Sincerely;
T.R.Z. Oswald

James Blunt / All the Lost Souls (2007)

Right, right, I know what you’re thinking... just save it for later. This is just so that I can finish my review of Blunt altogether and come back to him when he manages to put out another record. It is interesting how an artist who produced such a wonderful album only three years previous could present such a blow to the expectations of his audience. Sure it has a few five star songs, but it also has a few fairly mediocre songs (and I’m being generous with “mediocre”). Perhaps the problem arises from having taken so long to get the songs good for the first record that Blunt was just not able to do it for the time constraint. The true test will be with the third album, if it is good then he may live on and if not he will burn out like so many other potential great artists. Maybe I’ve been too harsh, perhaps All the Lost Souls is like a one of Mark Knopfler’s solo records, takes a while but with repeat listening it grows on you, but I highly doubt it.

Rating = Neptune Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

James Blunt / Back to Bedlam (2004)

Alright, alright quite down for just a moment. I know the flak that you are all waiting to give me for reviewing a modern pop album or even a pop album at all. Just wait for a moment though, you may very well be expecting me to tear it to pieces but I am sorry that is just not going to happen. Of course a degree of tearing here and there may show up, but I doubt it. There is this tendency to see Mr. Blunt as a bit of a wuss, sure a grown man with a voice like that does raise some questions, but on to the matter at hand. Though Back to Bedlam has by now achieved one thing of certainty, it was the album that contained “You’re Beautiful” and lord knows we never want to hear that again. With that in mind consider how the song would be viewed if it hadn’t had such success, yes we may hate it now but if everyone would cast their minds back to the late 1970’s everyone hated “Stairway to Heaven”, a great song but after 72,000 time of hearing it, the greatness is slowly replaced by annoyance. This is the same phenomenon that has gripped the fore mentioned single by Blunt. With that said there are another nine songs on the album, all worth their weight in gold or platinum or whatever it is you wish to measure the greatness of a song in. A good short album, full of five star songs and all play in the order they were put seamlessly, rather than rag on Blunt for only co-writing the lyrics it is better by far if we sit back and just enjoy the music.

Rating = Sun Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

ZZ Top / Eliminator (1983)

It is good to know that despite all of the other cheesy, glam rock of the 1980’s (or whatever other terms you can find to call it) there was still good, hard rock music being made. Though to be fair it is coming from 1983 which is a quite reasonable year for music, and so as to be expected a quite reasonable album emerges from it. Notable to those who know of ZZ Tops “hits” for “Gimme All Your Lovin”, “Sharp Dressed Man”, and “Legs”. If for nothing else it is an album that should be owned for the sound that is being issued from the guitar at around 1:55 in "Sharp Dressed Man". Though I am sure that in saying this I have doomed the song to heavy searches in both Youtube and Limewire.

Rating = Saturn Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

1st Amendment to the 2nd Rating System

Having noticed that the system here only contains nine levels, and in a desire to make it an even ten I have decided to add another one. (This addition is more correctly fueled by a realization that there are a number of albums I consider to be of the caliber to make them Sun records, that being said there are about a dozen others that I would suggest belong even above this level and therefore the only thing to do was to add a level for them). So here it is.

Stellar: Though it may have seemed that a Sun record was approaching the nearest thing to perfection that the world has seen since Eden, a stellar record reaches even beyond that. Every track present must be five out of five, with the occasional six out of five for good measure. Anyone who thinks about skipping a song on a record such as this while playing the album front to back ought to be taken out behind the shed and drawn and quartered for their lack of respect, these records are in god’s country.

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

The Clash / Sandinista! (1980)

While the principle of three records may have seemed like a good idea, and indeed it hooked me with the idea. The rule holds here however, never do in two (or in this case three) albums that which could have been done in one.

Rating = Uranus Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

REM / Accelerate (2008)

So where to begin, I guess some sort of praise should be offered to the trio that is REM. It seems that after a serious case of “Decade Comatosis” (1997-2008) following the departure of Bill Berry they have finally woken up and decided that perhaps it is time to serenade the world with a return to the music that made them great. The album which was released in 2008 begins with the track "Living Well is the Best Revenge". I’ll admit that my expectation for this album was very low, and who could blame me after such a period of creative drought from REM. That bar of expectation I had set was blown away, I was amazed to say the least and when "Supernatural Superserious" came along I had difficulty composing sentences. The first side plays out extremely well, though the fourth song could have remained slow rather then starting so and then taking off. Side 2 begins with the slow song I had been searching for on Side 1, nice to see it found a place somewhere other than the cutting room floor. Then the album gets a serious case of "Long Album Blues" which is odd for an album so short. Still it is a good album when you factor
in the crap they produced in the last decade, but they have a far way to come to return to Lifes Rich Pageant.

Rating = Neptune Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

A Note on Time

I know it has been a while, but seeing as there is no one following this then I feel that my time was better spent in other avenues. With that out of the way I can move on to review. As it was mentioned in the previous review I feel as though I should review it and give some context to the comparison that was made. So if you are still not aware it is REM's latest studio album; Accelerate.

Terms 1

This is a quick note on all of the various terms that I feel I have coined over the years, many of them will be used in the discussion of albums. So that readers are not lost when one shows up I will reveal a few of them here.

Long Album Blues: Frequently modern artists who are no longer constrained by the 45 minutes of a vinyl record feel the need to replace quality in their work with quantity, leading albums to drag on far longer then they should. Albums with this problem will have listeners questioning whether "this song really needs to be here"

Song Déjà-vu: Where artists (for whatever reason) feel the need to repeat their previous successes musically by releasing new music which sounds remarkably like their old music.

"Let's Be Rock stars!": A term often used to describe a band or artist who departs from their early mentality where they released records at a recent rate (every 2-3 years) and they were of prime quality, and then realizing they had gathered a devoted fan base they decided that they can take as long as they want between albums and when they do come around to
getting one out it is of quality far below that of earlier records.

Decade Comatosis: Used to describe a band or artist who falls into a state of comatose activity for a number of years, sometimes more than a decade. During this period the produce very little in terms of good quality music. When they finally wake up they usually appear to be revitalized and decided it is time to produce good music again.

Nick Lowe / Labour of Lust (1979)

No doubt in future people will look back upon the crudeness of this review with some level of disgust. That being said one has to start somewhere. I have decided to start in that momentous year for music that was 1979, some would argue (myself included) not as momentous as the year preceding it but that is something for review in a much later article. The album I have chosen to review is Nick Lowe’s Labour of Lust, the injustice for an album of this calibre is that (Lowe being a English artist) the only song to be released as a single on our side of the Atlantic Ocean, and this song ended up being the only major US hit Lowe ever had. I will be reviewing the American release, as it is the one I own (for those of you interested the English version has a slightly different track arrangement, as well it contains the song Endless Grey Ribbon in the place of American Squirm). The album plays like a good classic record, part of this can be attributed to the fact that it receives little to no radio play in North American and that keeps the songs from being overplayed to the point of utter ruin. Overall the songs are in the general rating of 4/5 but several numbers are 5/5 with the exception of Switchboard Susan which contains a beat so cool and lyrics so neat that it is elevated to the level of 6/5. Lowe has managed to balance good rocking melodies with a few slower songs You Make Me. This results in the album having a much nicer feel from back to front and doesn’t result in the listener getting an overdose of rock (Yes it can happen, i.e REM’s Accelerate for one). A good, classic and solid album, worth the purchase if you see it and it will more than likely be under ten dollars.

Rating = Saturn Record

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Rating System III

Designed to measure the cheesy-ness of a band as a whole, measured in Milk fat/Butterfat. This scale will be provided in more detail in the future.

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Rating System II

This Rating System is designed specifically to rate each album on its own individual merit, not counting quality or decency of the band as a whole. Some bands/artist may rate very low on the first system but have single albums that rate very highly in this system. The reason being that some bands have a single stellar album but that single album doesn’t reflect the quality of the band as a whole. The system below has be developed in relation to the planets of the solar system in order of their mass. This also includes the sun. For the purpose of this list, Pluto will represent the lowest class, i.e. Dwarf Planet.

Sun: if you happened to be a person of faith or religious in the slightest, then albums in this category will be the only proof you need as to the existence of god. Every song resonates with the listener in ways that few others could hope to achieve. Every listen brings new heartfelt emotion and new understanding to each individual word making up the collective fabric that is the beauty of the music. Little else of the mortal variety can compare to albums in this category.
Continued exposure will lead you to the understanding that both the work of mortals and immortals was required to produce these albums.

Jupiter: a record in this class provides something above all others; a sense of superiority is never stated only felt through the reverberation of the sound. The quality of the album is such that it plays back to front and front to back in a nearly seamless fashion. There is little ordinary anywhere on the record, and if there is it is made up for by the fact that the other songs make up for it in spades.

Saturn: albums in this class offer renewed insight with each play, though the insight may not be particularly deep or everlasting it does show the potential to be something more. More over the album will offer quality over quantity and will repay the listener with feelings of joy and happiness for their investment. Excellent songs should flood over from the first side to the second, though a few mediocre songs is unfortunate it is forgivable. Owners of albums in this category should be congratulated for their sense of taste.

Neptune: the sense of quality and care was obviously present in albums in this category, though not in particularly large quantities. Repeated listening is repaid with a sense of some cool, good vibes. Though the record itself when played front to back may have dramatic highs and lows, indicating it is closer to a full revolution of the economic cycle rather than one that presents only growth. To be here the album should have at least a side of good songs.

Uranus: if you happen to find out a close friend owns a record in this category then you should take it upon yourself to re-educate them as to the finer points of music, they are not lost yet but if they continue down this path they may end up in a particularly bad spot.

Earth: if you happened to find out that a close friend of yours owns one or more albums in this category you may wish to re-evaluate your friendship, and unless immediate intervention is enacted then they may be lost to the mortal confines of hell in the foreseeable future.

Venus: albums in this category are ones that you never want to admit (to another living soul or creature of the universe) that you actually spend any of your money, time, patience or grace in acquiring them. You should be ashamed.

Mars: albums in this category are ones that you never want to admit (to another living soul or creature of the universe) that you actually spend any of your money, time, patience or grace in listening to them. You should be publicly humiliated.

Mercury: Continued exposure may lead to hemorrhaging, if you feel pain, consult a doctor immediately, if you feel nothing consult a mortician, though there’s no great hurry.

Pluto: Blasphemy at its most prevalent, perhaps the sheer existence of records in this category proves that the devil is never going to give up his quest to lure every last one of us on this earth down to the pits and dungeons of hell.

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Rating System I

(Designed to rate the band/artist as a whole unit, and their albums as a whole unit. There is another system of rating to follow which will deal with rating each album specifically)

Level 0 (No Description): The band in question bares an annoyance on a level only seen by few creatures in the history of the universe. A band whose playing brings up the though in your mind similar to that of the “Oh %@^&” that came to the mind of the dinosaurs when they saw that fated inferno of a meteor falling to earth. By listing to music by any bands/artists slated in this category your fate will be the same as that of the dinosaurs. Not only will you have subjected yourself to unimaginable pain in life you will also have to endure unimaginable pain in death

Example: The Jonas Brothers

Level 1 (Never): The Band in question is intolerable on all levels; no listening of any variety should be undertaken under any circumstances with a band slated in this category. The fact they even existed is of pure amazement to all facets of life as we know it.

Examples: Mötley Crüe

Level 2 (Almost Never): The band/artist in question provides nothing to fill the listener with a sense of “I want to listen to this” rather it is something that people around you like and for the life of you can’t figure out why. A band when your friend says “I love this band, you have to hear them” and then asks “What did you think?” and your response has to be compiled somewhat hesitantly with the flat out lie “It was okay”. It is important to know who these bands/artists were but never to listen to their material.

Examples: Janis Joplin

Level 3 (Song): Amongst everything else bands/artists in this level provide a single song which in and of itself is go enough to warrant a second listen. Something which in spite of all the other Level 1 & 2 music out there fills you with a sense of maybe, just maybe the human race isn’t doomed after all. However no other songs ever come close to producing the quality, build and interest that is that single song.

Example: AFI: Miss Murder or Deathcab for Cutie: Soul Meets Body

Level 4 (Radio): A band/artist that offers nothing in the way of interest that will endear you to the decision to move it to one of the upper levels, but they do happen to provide a sound which you find tolerable and amongst the other filth littering the airwaves of new music you find yourself saying “Come on lets here some ____________”. Great example would be Nickleback. But god help you if you ever manage to find yourself owning one of their albums.

Example: Nickelback or The Foo Fighters

Level 5A (Greatest Hits): A band that finds itself in this category is one who instilled itself in the minds of the population with only their hits and everyone remains blissfully unaware of the other tracks which may have lurked on any of their albums, bands that no one knows the names of their albums.

Example:Trooper: Hot Shots or Def Leppard: Rock of Ages

Level 5B (Live): In many way this sub category of Level 5 plays out like the statement of above only it differs in that it is exclusive to live albums only. Live albums are often like a greatest hits and that is why they fall here.

Example: Peter Frampton: Frampton Comes Alive

Level 6 (Hits+1): A band in which you find so many of their greatest songs on a single album that it plays almost like a greatest hits. This leads you then to the inevitable purchase of said album and after listening to it several dozen times you realize that there are a few other songs by this band that you would like to own. This category also includes bands where ownership of a single record from their repertoire is warranted, but that single record plays like a greatest hits, however they have no other songs worthy of ownership.

Example: Boston: Boston + a Greatest Hits of Some Sort or Van Halen: Van Halen + a Greatest Hits of Some Sort

Level 7 (Hits+2): A band whose description plays out similarly to the one stated in the article previous only instead of having one good album to couple with a greatest hits they have two.

Example: Rush: 2112, Moving Pictures + a Greatest Hits of some sort

(Although by some accounts Rush could move to the category below in some may suggest it prudent two own Farewell to Kings as well)

Level 8 (Albums 1): A band in this category has to have demonstrated their worth to the listener, surpassing the need to merely own 2 of their studio albums and a greatest hits. A band here is a band whose effort to make lasting and meaningful music means you should own 3-4 of their studio albums. It should be noted that bands in both Level 8 and Level 9 do not need you to own greatest hits, though sometimes a GH album wouldn’t go amiss.

Example: AC/DC: All albums between 1977 and 1980 (Leading to 4 albums: Let There Be Rock, Powerage, Highway to Hell, Back in Black)

Level 9 (Albums 2): A band whose worth and value as an addition to your collection should never be understated. A band in this category brings pleasure to your ears with a serious of different albums all holding their own weight in the mind of the listener. For a band to be in this category it needs to be worth your while to own all of their albums between a certain year and another certain year. You have to own at least 5+ of their studio albums.

Example: Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Dire Straits, Eric Clapton

(Too many albums to list, that is why there are none listed for the artists above)

Level 10 (Sets): For a band to have reached this level suggests that there is something about there work which is timeless, never ages and continues to have a profound impact on the music and generations of today. In many cases the artists listed in this category may have been helped along by aliens or some such other creatures to perfect music to a degree that warrants an ownership of all of their studio albums.

Example: Led Zeppelin or The Beatles

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

A System of Rating Music

The system to follow, as described briefly in the introduction posted earlier is designed to help those new to music, or the world of real classic music (not to be confused with Classical Music) in their search for albums which will provide quality enjoyment and value for money, in other words music that will wear out the proverbial grooves in modern Laser Vinyl (Or Compact Discs).

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald

Introduction

Given the apparent lack of appreciation and respect for old music in this lifeless void that I like to call Modern Times, (Not a reference to the 2006 Dylan album) I have decided to take upon the great burden that is teaching the youth of today that there is more to music then Lady Gaga, Katie Perry, Kanye West and Nickleback. This void I am referring to formed some near twenty years ago, around about that time when the greatest produce the world or “real” Rock & Roll could provide were the bands that ended up sowing the seeds for the grunge revolution (Guns N’ Roses and Mötley Crüe coming from the harder, mundane, more desolate sounding rock, and Def Leppard and Bon Jovi coming from the cheesier, solid rock perfected a decade earlier). These bands of course became so overblown and showboaty that the world of music underwent a revolution on the scale of the French one seen in 1789. And leaving people like me with no place of refuge to wait until the storm of unintelligible lyrics and unrefined guitar noises finally passed some ten years later, a storm which still continues to have a profound impact on the world of music today. That being said I will do my best to educate the children of today with reviews of a wide range of albums in order to help the some 10% of the youth who still buy records legally from a store in their quest for good, memorable, solid and original music. A rating system on decency of an album will be provided in a future post, as I will review both albums of significant merit as well as those which provide music of a less then savory nature. More to follow.

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald