1st Amendment to The 3rd Rating System

Cheesyness Quotient (in ACU) of Bands

The Cheesyness Quotient (or CQ) of a Band/Artist is determined by two factors:
1) The Band/Artist’s percentage, on a scale from 0.1 to 99.9 of Butterfat, the higher the butterfat (which is the independent variable) the greater the cheesyness of the band/artist will be (given in percent butterfat approximate or %Ba).
2) The other factor is their cheesyness, which is measured in Cheesyness Units (or cu) which is measured on a scale from 0 to infinity,
As the butterfat of a band/artist approaches 100% (though it will never reach it) the CU of the band/artist will approach infinity. Alternately, as the butterfat of a band/artist approaches 0.00% (though it will never reach it) the CU approaches negative infinity.

These two numbers are then multiplied together in order to get the bands overall cheesyness, which is given in Average Cheesyness Units or acu’s

Example 1:

Def Leppard:
Measures 49%Ba (Heavy Cream) on the Butterfat Scale,
Measures 30 CU (on the Cheesyness Scale)

Therefore 49%Ba X 30 CU = 1470acu

Example 2:

Led Zeppelin:
Measures 0.4%Ba (Skim Milk) on the Butterfat Scale
Measures 1.5 CU (on the Cheesyness Scale)

Therefore 0.4%Ba X 1.5 CU = 1acu*

Example 3:

Boston:
Measures 33.5%Ba (Whipping Cream) on the Butterfat Scale
Measures 20.5 CU (on the Cheesyness Scale)

Therefore 33.5%Ba X 20.5 CU = 686.75acu**/***

*Note 1: Any bands that score below 1acu have their number rounded up for ease of
measurement and recording (Led Zeppelin actually scores a 0.6acu level)

**Note 2: Boston is often cited as the definitive threshold band, largely due to the fact that they are constantly and consistently straddling the acu threshold.

***Note 3: 33 1/3%Ba which correlates to a 20 CU rating which then results in a 666.66acu (repeating of course) measurement. Make no mistake, this is no coincidence. Some analysts cite this as the definitive dividing line between Rock and Cheese, though the majority will suggest that 633.33-700.00acu is the general regarded transition zone between the two, as when bands/artists approach this line their music tends to drift between Rock and Cheese quite frequently. This zone was created by the addition and subtraction of the Absolute Cheese Threshold in butterfat (33.33%) (ACTBa) from the Absolute Cheese Threshold in Average Cheesyness Units (ACTacu) 666.66acu +/- 33.33

A Graph of this Relationship is in my possession, at some point in the near future I plan to post it here.

Sincerely;

T.R.Z. Oswald